“Smoke and Mirrors” (Poem)

Sing songs to me while we make love,

come inside my heart, as we feel it’s warmth

seems like these silver dreams won’t ever fade away

I need you, I wonder if you really need me

I thought about you the other day

And how things went so wrong

you were the man I had always craved

but with every episode, you began to pull away

I’m so sorry for being sick, although it’s not my fault

what hurts the most is knowing that’s what tore us apart

Or, maybe it was just my own issues

often times, I honestly can’t tell between the two — and neither could you.

I miss you — I want you to hold me on a winter’s night

Tell me that I am beautiful

I wish you had just a little more fight

Than to walk away because I made it so easy

I don’t want to be alone

Although it’s never just me

Well, it’s all smoke and mirrors now

Just wishing I had never let you go

As this illness eats me alive

I can only ponder on the possibilities

of my past, knowing that bipolar disorder will always be right by my side

whether I like it or not

— R.K.B. (2020)

3 comments

  1. A person who loves you will accept you are human and have certain reactions, it has taken me some time and love from a good person to see this. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out and it so so painful as all we really want is unconditional love. I relate to this very much.. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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