The Fire and My Gun {Poem}

resilience
I took a step
to love myself FIRST-
I would fold the pages of past chapters
And every so often, I would turn back to the “STORIES”
But, NOT ANYMORE….
I used to think that nobody would ever see me
So I would do things to be SEEN
Begging for a taste of attention, a check of validation, and the warmth of somebody, anybody’s
affection……
But NO LONGER……….no longer is that ME-
I used to have a fear of flying
So I would REMAIN on the ground
And I would walk with the chickens, the pigeons and the crabs
Who were comforted by my silence and my submission to my own self-hindrance….
For I was NO LONGER seen by them as a THREAT-
BUT HEAR ME, NOT ANYMORE.. …….
No, no- That can NOT be me ANYMORE, FOREVER MORE…..
Yes, I took a step to love myself FIRST
But I know, that it’s a lonely, questionable and dark road ahead
To take the road NOT TAKEN
And find your OWN WAY
But EVEN as I battle through the dark times, I know that I will be OKAY-
For I have got the power at the core of MY vessel
The chills flooding through my veins, wanting to one day die and be applauded as one of LIFE’S
GREATS….
The wonders of a wild, mad, unbound and unwound and untamed brain, WIDE with OPEN-MINDED
space….
I have got that PRIDE of a lion and that fight of a BULL-
The wings of a life that was MEANT to stretch and FLY-
I AM the star, these are the strings that I PULL
I AM THE SHOW…..
The anticipation to soar runs up through me, and ALLLL DOWN my spine-
Yes, I have got that FIRE-
AND I, AM BRAVE
Watch me GO…………..
I’LL SHOOT HIGH, and go places so HIGH and SO far that you will NEVER know-
Yeah, I AIM for the heights
As I, wait for NO ONE
Taking my chances
Calling MY shots
I shoot HIGH with eyes WIDE OPEN
Cuz I have got that FIRE
AND I, Have got MY GUN
READY TO SOUND OFF, I’ll make it hot for ya.
FOR I SHOOT HIGH
I AIM FOR THE THRILL
I AIM FOR THE SUCCESS
I AIM FOR THE GLAMOROUS LIFE
I AIM FOR WHAT IS REAL
I AIM FOR HAPPINESS
I AIM FOR THE MONEY
I AIM TO KILL THE COMPETITION
I AIM TO SOAR AMONG THE SKIES, ABOVE THE OCEANS, OVER THE MOUNTAINS,
THROUGH THE VALLEYS AND ACROSS THE SEAS……
Because for the very FIRST time in MY lonely, little life,
I AM AIMING……
FOR…..
ME…..
-R.K.B. (2020)

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