Conversations With GOD
I sit at the foot of my bed. My knees are shaking…
but I need to talk. I have something to say.
Let’s talk about the nightmares.
Lord, can you see?
When I drift, I am drowning…
Each time I reach out for you, the Devil hears me
He calls me back
He comes crawling
I forget, that – he hears my prayers when you do, too
I extend my soul and I long to be whole
But he fills my voids with the luxuries of a moment
The “right now…” bullshit
And Lord, excuse me for cussing
But, I just…
I thought I wasn’t too stupid to fall for a dance
One time, two times, three times
I prayed for closure, but only to move on
Not swing in a solemn place
To groove to dusty, scratched up, broken records
That play in the background
A soundtrack to my young life –
I’ve already become the very woman that I despised the most
Sipping her cocaine
As she wipes the mascara away
Calling her next mistake that will roll on into another morning
She’s on all kinds of dope.
She’s Me, ain’t she?
So I can ride home with a wet ass and hurt feelings
On my way to CVS to pop another Plan B
Cuz I’ll be damned if anyone knows
I’ll be damned if anybody knows
The Real Me
The Fake Me
The Rabbit in a Lion’s Mask
The dead breathing her existence
Nobody can know me, really…
So GOD, help me
-Written by: Ranequa Kelley-Boyd
copyrighted April 15, 2019