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When I am feeling sad (which sometimes turns into feeling suicidal), here is a quick list of 15 things that lift me up and help me to see the sunshine…and once again, choose life. Even when I am low, have stopped giving a fuck, and want to just fly away.
Here is how I, personally, CHOOSE LIFE:
- I watch conspiracy theory videos on YouTube. Yes, anything that falls under the realm of multiple universes, black holes, life on Mars and time travel – those are all my jams. I get lost in anything that makes me think critically and long about possibilities!
- I like Candy Crush. It’s an old ass game by now, but I recommend to ALL people suffering from anxiety and/or depression. It has become the mindless coping mechanism that I need on days that I have replaced with what I used to turn to: things like drinking, smoking weed, popping xannies and calling random guys to have sex with in the middle of the night. Yeah, if I had to decide – I would say that playing stupid Candy Crush has been a far greater help for me.
- Do you have Hulu or Netflix? Firestick? Get you something that won’t load you with advertisements and reality show BS. Get lost in some old episodes of Boondocks, Rick and Morty, Bob’s Burgers or Spongebob Squarepants. Again, it’s the RIGHT kind of mindlessness that will feed your spirit when you are low. The last thing you need to watch when you are feeling depressed is ANYTHING on BET or VH1. Hell, watch Planet Earth on Netflix and learn about elephants! It’s more interesting than you might think.
- Grab a friend and play card games! UNO, Cards Against Humanity, or grab a couple board games. Play Connect 4 – that’s my jam as well. You’d be surprised how much better you feel after one round of kicking your friend’s ass in Ms. PacMan.
- Do you like to eat? I’m truly hoping your answer is a Yes. If so, get in that kitchen and google some new recipes! Cooking does wonders for the mind, heart and body. Relax your mind. Even if you suck at cooking, have fun with it. Try new things, experiment with new tastes. You may cook something so awesome that it will make you proud to show off. I personally love Pinterest to grab ideas. Recently, I’ve been trying at more vegan and vegetarian dishes – which is quite the experience, in a great way for me.
- SLEEP. It doesn’t matter the time of day. If it’s 2 pm and you feel exhausted, despite having slept the night before – get some rest. I know that this is easier said than done. If you have anxiety, you probably feel like a failure for laying down in the middle of the day, even if you are giving your body the rest that it crucially needs. One thing to remember: don’t be so hard on yourself. You are living with something that is never nor will ever be your fault for experiencing. So, when you are feeling more tired than normal, don’t force your body to stay busy. Anxiety will do that to us. Lay down and rest. It’s okay. You need it, and you will wake up feeling better, too.
- Spend time with your family! Has it been a while since you’ve responded to their texts and calls? Don’t worry, it’s okay. That does not make you an asshole. I understand why, I get it. But….whenever you are ready, call them. Go outside, and be around the ones you love. Time is always fleeting. Don’t let too much of it slip away.
- Go workout! Run, jog, whatever.
- Do you like podcasts? Download the Castbox app onto your phone. I love it so far. It’s commercial and BS free, unlike the mainstream radio. Again, FEED YOUR MIND with the things that you know you want and need.
- Rollerskating? For the longest, I kept putting it off because I was waiting for friends to tag along. That’s over with. Don’t wait on other people. Go skating! Hear your favorite music, get a little exercise, and socialize without having to stand in some loud and crowded ass club.
- Do you like loud and crowded ass clubs? Well shit, that’s fine too! Get out of the house. Again, do not wait on your flaky ass friends. Get pretty (or handsome, if you’re a guy reading this) and GO. I just went to see Masego in concert and his music – is ALSO my favorite jam. I don’t really care for concerts that are standing room only, and I will admit, since I don’t attend them often I felt a little lonely at first. However, I quickly got over that and truly enjoyed myself. I love doing things on my own. It might feel lonely sometimes, that’s just the reality, but so what. Go have fun, get out and do things anyway. You will be okay. The memories you will make will by-far overshadow not having a tag along eventually, trust me.
- Self-care, anyone? Sure, get your nails, feet and hair done. That’s cool. But it’s time to book you a Swedish massage, a day at the spa, an hour in the hot tub, attend a yoga class, or get quiet and practice your “namaste” – take 30 minutes out of your day and meditate. Just pull up a playlist and vibe out to soft sounds of the forest or rain. Spray lavender around your house, too. It will calm you down in times of worry or stress.
- Are you nerdy AF like me? There is this website that I am sure you have heard of called UDemy. I just added a few new classes I am preparing to explore. Learn something new on your own time. Learning Latin, Cyber Security 101, vegan recipes and how to promote a book as a self-published author are just some of my classes I’m set to start soon, and I’m pretty excited about that.
- Do you like old school relics? I enjoy getting lost in anything from the 80’s or 90’s. Daria, Beevis and Butthead, Scary Movie franchise, Tupac albums, and Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction old episodes that I find on YouTube literally all do my heart a wonder of joy when I need it the most.
- Do you have anyone to talk to? You might feel like you don’t, and I understand that feeling. I have been there. While we can’t make people be there for us, we can seek communities that will. I have joined endless Facebook groups created specifically for people with my interests and same needs. I follow pages for folks with anxiety, bipolar, depression, suicidal thoughts, and then I also pages for vegans, vegetarians, self-published authors, entrepreneurs, black female travelers, and pages that literally only post inappropriate memes. I love IT. I find what I need. I have truly learned to speak out, and when I cannot do that – I take action and seek out the things that I need. For the most part, I have found that it is always out there. I can find it if I look hard enough. But what I know won’t help the pain that I experience, is to sit still and feel helpless and hopeless. TAKE CHARGE. Find the things, both small and big, that make a difference and will work for you. Whatever it takes to smile (positive things only). SEEK that out with all you’ve got and I promise, it will go a long way.
Add things that make you happy in the comments section! Share ways to build your joy in dark times through healthy coping mechanisms. This is the start and the key to actual HEALING in our lives.
Until the next blog 🙂 LOVE AND BLESS.
To stay updated on my blog, “VodkaForMondays,” visit my website to learn more: http://www.intomywoods.com .
– R.K.B. #mentalhealthMATTERS